The War with Weight

I have been battling. War for half my life now. More often than not the fat wins. I started gaining weight around the third grade. My first memory and realization that I wasn't myself anymore, that I was more was when I was in the fourth grade. I really don't remember having a flat stomach. That must be because I didn't even notice my weight. It wasn't something I was even aware of, but then on my first day back to school of forth grade year some angry lanky white boy, a year ahead of me, slammed into my shoulder that morning and slammed the words "move it fatty" into my ears and into my brain. I'm not sure if it was the disgust in his voice or the throbbing pain in my shoulder that made those words sink in and had myself looking down at my tummy thinking I'm fat? I'm disgusting? But it happened and it changed my perspective of my body for the rest of my life.

Later, I became friends with that angry lanky white boy who was no longer a year ahead of me in grades, he had failed his fourth grade year and became stuck with his sister in my grade. Even later still, that boy apologized for that day, for his words and his physical actions, and I could tell he really meant it from deep down. However, I've been chubby ever since, never knowing the body of my dreams that I watched most of the girls at school in.

Tonight, while watching Teal Scott's Youtube videos, I saw she had made one about losing weight. Just as all her other videos do, she intrigued me and I decided to follow her advice. Don't resist the weight. Find ways to love yourself and make yourself happy and your body will conform to that happiness and will shed your weight because that's what makes you happy. Go watch her video, she explains it much better.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=wzJiMp-P_lY

To follow her advice, I went and turned on my stereo and just started dancing for fun, because it felt good and it made me happy. What made me even happier was knowing the added bonus of the physical activity, that this dancing was helping me lose weight and get back into shape. I only lasted 20 minutes, but that's not bad just starting back. I would've been happy with any time length because of how good it felt.
Small steps at a time, they multiply and become big steps.