"Black Burned Needle" is the name I thought up about a year ago for an online Etsy shop I have been wanting to start. I'm sure that shows just how much of a procrastinator I am. I also started a blog a few different times, each time they ended up getting hit by the delete button or just completely forgotten altogether. However, I'm back here again. There must be something my heart craves for in writing. I haven't written anything of substance since I deleted my posts on this very same blog about a year ago. Writing, as well as, some other forms of my self expression became something I began to repress because of a self awareness I was needed-ly forced into, but now I'm back after a year of self re-evaluation.

The now purpose of this blog is not a diary, but a true journal which is meant only to be a catalog of my learning, my thoughts and anything else that may apply to my spiritual path and my life path. Writing is something my soul needs, craves. As a Gemini, I crave to create and learn. It's a natural state.

I have believed that everything happens for a reason and will continue to believe that throughout my life. Even death finds a way to be majorly purposeful. Despite the unwanted property of death, death is maybe the most purposeful throughout life. The purpose, I believe, is not found through the actual death of a person or animal, but the effect of that death on the people surrounding the soul who was lost. In this current case of myself being effected by death, it is not of someone who I even met but have come to have wished I had the chance to meet, the soul of  Travis Alexander.

After watching parts of the trail of Jodi Arias and after watching the Lifetime movie Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret in which it is easy to love Travis, I became repulsed by the constant theme of death and really wanted to enjoy the memories of Travis' life instead of hearing the horror of his death. In Google-ing him, I found his legacy website that his friends and family had put together. They currently have some quotes from Travis, and a few paragraphs of Travis describing himself that was taken from his Myspace page. In those few paragraphs, Travis made me laugh quite a few times and in turn I too couldn't help but mourn for him and feel his loss.

I initially Googled him to try to find his steps of success that were referenced in the Lifetime movie, but I haven't come across them yet. Those sort of captivated me as the actor introduced the first step as Travis would have, always make goals. I did come across his blog though, it's not a lot of posts but each one is substantial. Travis is truly motivating, and that's what I as well as many others need, motivation. Travis spoke of living the life you want and making each day amazing because they are numbered. He also talked of self improvement. So potentially you can see what I meant by everything happens for a reason even though the act could be a great sacrifice.